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  Two German sentries rushed from their hut. They must have seen the light of the lamp for they fired three hurried shots at the shape on the beach. Four Thompson machine guns barked and they retreated back up the hill. There was no need for silence any longer. "Well chaps, it's up to the Navy now. Just use short bursts."

  I took out two Mills bombs and laid them next to me. In the dark they were better weapons to use as they were invisible. The Germans, who I assumed would be racing from their barracks, would see our muzzle flashes. Explosions were still going off above us and I could hear whistles and shouts. They were coming. The Corporal shouted, "Sir, the MTB. It is on its way."

  "Move back to the surf but keep watching Jerry!"

  I didn't move immediately. It was a mistake, albeit a necessary one, for we could be seen against the sea. I saw the muzzle flashes from the Germans who were now at the end of the road. I heard a cry. They had hit one of us and then I heard the throb of the MTB and heard the reassuring chatter of the two Vickers. I picked up one of my two grenades and drew the pin from one of them. I hurled it as far to my right as I could and then repeated with the other. The second one I threw to the left. I turned and ran. My feet splashed in the sea and then I heard the two grenades as they went off in quick succession. I could not resist turning around and I saw the Germans had taken cover. They had, however, set up a heavy machine gun. I found myself up to my waist in the water but the bow of the MTB was just ahead. The heavy machine clattered away and I saw a line of holes stitched in the plywood hull of the boat. The Bosun shouted, "Get a bloody move on!"

  Hands reached down and hauled me up. As I landed on the deck I heard Captain Foster shout, "That's it! Let's go."

  Those of us at the bow emptied out magazines at the shore. I had no idea if we hit anything but having been on the receiving end of such fire I knew that it made people keep their heads down. As Lieutenant Herd threw the MTB around the Oerlikon began to pump out its shells. I lay on my back and closed my eyes. We had made it. I lay still for quite a while as the MTB put space between us and danger. I had no doubt that E-Boats would be scrambled from Wissant and Boulogne and they were much faster than we were.

  Sergeant Johnson shouted. "Right lads, to the stern and keep a watch out for Jerry."

  As I rose I noticed that there was a body covered in a blanket and Harry was being helped to the mess. I pulled back the blanket. It was Dick. We had lost our first man. I reloaded my Thomson and nestled next to the depth charges. Daddy was next to me. "That was bloody close!"

  I nodded, "You are telling me. At least the explosives detonated."

  He ruffled my head, "And none of us doubted it for a moment."

  "How is Harry?"

  "Dunno, the Corporal is with him. Shame about Dick. He was a nice bloke."

  There was no more to say. Unlike the men I had lost in the retreat here I would be able to talk with the others about his loss. And we would know where he would lie. The 1st Loyal Lancashires lay spread around Belgium and Northern France.

  We raced across the dark Channel and I began to believe we had escaped until Bill Leslie shouted, "E-boats to starboard. Two of them and they are coming fast!"

  We lay flat across the canting deck of the careering MTB. Lieutenant Herd turned slightly to port to take us away from their course. I glanced astern and saw the faint glow that heralded the dawn. There was no point looking to the west, it was too dark to see where the land lay. Our change of course also meant that the two E-Boats had to follow in line astern. Only one of them would be able to bring their guns to bear. The powerful diesels of the E-boats were steadily gaining on us. It was fortunate for us that it was a flat calm. Had there been waves of any sort then the Germans would have closed with us even faster.

  Suddenly I heard the Bosun shout. "Leslie, go to the stern and be ready to release two depth charges on my command! Shallow settings."

  Bill came by and I saw that he was grinning. "Never a dull moment eh, Tom!"

  I saw him take a spanner and adjust the fuse on the depth charge. He then took four cork floatation devices from the locker close by and tied two of them to each of the charges. He saw my look. "It stops them sinking too fast. Don't want our arses blowing off do we?"

  The seaman was almost thrown from his feet as the MTB was hurled to starboard. The young lieutenant was doing all that he could to throw off the aim of the German gunners. After a minute or two on that course he reverted to his original. The gunner on the leading E-Boat began to fire. He was using tracer and we watched it arc towards us. It missed but we knew he would be adjusting his aim. Our gunner waited for another heartbeat or two and then the cannon began to pump out shells. It made a reassuring sound as round after round was sent astern. We began to slow slightly and I wondered if there was something wrong. The leading E-boat almost leapt towards us.

  "Release! Now!"

  Bill let one depth charge go and then the second. "Depth charges away!"

  Even as he spoke the Lieutenant gave full power and we surged ahead like a greyhound. Behind me, just forty feet from our stern twin geysers of water erupted in two huge columns. They were less than forty feet from the leading E-Boat and he swerved to starboard to avoid them. His consort had to do the same and we began to edge away. The ruse had bought us time but it had not saved us.

  Bill ran back to his post on the bridge. The Oerlikon gunner took the opportunity of firing at them when they were beam on to us. The two E-Boats turned back to port and surged after us. The gunner was either lucky or good. His shells struck the hull of the leading E-Boat. It slowed slightly and the second E-Boat took the lead. The hit had bought us a few more minutes and every minute took us closer to England.

  Astern of us I could see definite light as dawn broke. The second E-boat's guns began to fire. I felt the MTB judder as the shells hit the hull. It was now only a matter of time. Suddenly two more geysers of water erupted in front of the E-boat. I wondered how. Bill had only released two depth charges. The two E-boats turned as four more geysers erupted. Daddy was grinning and pointing west. There was a frigate and an armed trawler; they had opened fire and it was their fall of shell I saw. I could see the coast line ahead. We had made it. And then the engine stopped. The last shells from the E-boat had found their target.

  The two coastal defence vessels fired another few rounds and then turned to come alongside us. The captain of the frigate shouted, "Do you need a tow?"

  "Yes please. A timely arrival!"

  "Lucky there were just two of the buggers though, what?"

  We were towed in to Southend on Sea. Captain Foster said, "Right lads, let's get ashore. The MTB will have to stay here for repairs I am afraid."

  We carried Dick's body ashore and Harry was able to walk. He had taken a couple of bullets to the shoulder. He would be out of action for a while. I nodded to Bill as I stepped from the boat. "Take care."

  "And you!"

  A pair of medical orderlies raced over to us with a stretcher. Harry snapped, "I don't need that.," he pointed to the blanket covered body. "Take my oppo though."

  "You go with them, Golightly. You did well." He smiled at us all, "You all did well. Sergeant, take charge while I go and get some transport arranged."

  The others all lit up. I noticed that the place bristled with guns. One of the gunners on the nearest battery warned, "You lads better put your tin lids on. The Germans have some new guns across there in France. They'll be laying a few eggs soon!"

  We just laughed. I think they thought that we were mad. We knew that there were three guns which would not fire again; at least not until they had been either replaced or repaired.

  Chapter 19

  We sat in the back of the lorry. Captain Foster had refused the offer of a seat in the cab to stay with us in the back. "What did you say to that Jerry, Harsker, when we were in the emplacement?"

  "He asked who I was and I said I was looking for an officer's binoculars. He believed me."

  "That was quick thinking." He
turned to the sergeant, "I think your section deserves some leave, Sergeant Johnson. When we get back have Sergeant Dean give each man a seven day furlough."

  "Right sir!"

  "Thank you, sir."

  "It will give us the chance to assess the success of this raid." He lit another cigarette. "I hope Mister Reed had the same success as we had."

  An hour and a half later, as we pulled into the dock area we saw that the other MTB had also been damaged. It was with a sense of dread that we entered the meeting hall. The ladies had a pot of tea ready and were spreading what passed for margarine on to thin grey bread. Sergeant Dean came out of the back. He said, quietly to the Captain, "I am afraid Lieutenant Reed ran into a spot of bother. He and his lads were spotted before they reached the gun. Just three of them made it back and the MTB was damaged. He went to the hospital with the two wounded men." He seemed to see us. "How did you get on sir?"

  "We got the guns but we lost Kirton. Have leave chits made out for this section Sergeant, they deserve it." He shook his head, "Besides it seems we only have one landing craft now. We have had a bit of a setback."

  "No sir, we haven't. You were trying to get rid of four guns. You got rid of three of them. In my book that is a success."

  "Perhaps." He turned to us. "Leave your weapons here with the sergeant and enjoy your leave."

  We lined up to receive our travel warrants and leave chits. All of us would have to go through London. That was a daunting prospect. The newspapers had been filled for days with news of fires raging all night and daily bombing raids by the Luftwaffe. We would be in as much danger in our own capital as we had been in France. It would be worth the danger to see our families. The last time I had seen mum had been before the war. I had been a different person then.

  We shared a third class compartment. We had to wait just outside London for an hour while the track ahead was cleared. I could see teams working to repair rails. There were sandbagged anti aircraft guns every half mile or so. When we disgorged it was into a city filled with broken buildings and cratered roads which was wreathed in smoke and smelled of death. It was like stepping into Dante's Inferno. Dazed people were staggering around, some of them clutching bags with what looked like the last of their possessions. I had seen this in France when the Stukas had bombed the refugees. It was hard to bear in my own capital city. The all clear must have sounded some time before we reached the metropolis for people were busy clearing the streets.

  "See you lads."

  Sean shook his head, "By the time I get home it will be time to come back again." He began to sing, "North of the border, down Glasgow way!" We all shook hands and went our separate ways.

  I went in search of a working telephone box. It was not as easy as I had hoped. When I eventually found one and got through it was Mary who answered. I heard a squeal of delight which almost burst my ear drum, "It's Tom! Where are you?"

  Before I could answer my mother's voice spoke as she came on the line, "Go and watch that pan, Mary, hello Tom."

  "I have a leave. I am on my way home."

  "Where are you now?"

  "London."

  I heard the catch in her voice as she said, "Is it bad there?"

  "Yes mum, it is a mess. I am glad that you and Mary are safe. I'll see you when I see you."

  It was late afternoon by the time I managed to reach home. Navigating across London was a nightmare and the trains had to negotiate damage left by bombers who had released their bombs short of their targets. This was even more worrying that I had thought. Disruption was everywhere. In the old days I would have got a taxi from the station but they were a peace time luxury. I walked. It was just four miles. During the walk I had the time to reflect that mum and dad had done the right thing to buy a place of their own. If mum and Mary lived on an airbase as we had done for many years, then they would be in as much danger as I was.

  Mum was waiting at the front door. She threw her arms around me and began crying. I had only seen her crying at funerals. I held her tightly, "It's all right mum. I'm safe and I am home." Mary threw her arms around me and she, too, began to cry. "Anyone would think I was wounded or something!"

  Mum held me at arm's length. "Don't even joke about that! It is a year since we saw you!" She began to recover and she dragged me inside. "Let's have a look at you." She frowned, "You are so thin! Don't they feed you?"

  "They feed us fine mum. I have put weight on since I joined up."

  "Well I have done you a nice rabbit stew. I used the meat ration already but Mr Jones shot a couple of bunnies and he let me have one. Your sister here is a dab hand at growing veg too."

  I looked at my little sister. She was rapidly becoming a woman. "Well done our kid! Grandad would have been proud of you. I'll just get washed up."

  I went to the bathroom and stripped to the waist. There was, thankfully, hot water; mum must have put the immersion heater on for me. Her voice came up the stairs, "You can have a bath if you want?"

  "I'll have one after supper. I am starving."

  When I got downstairs there was a steaming casserole in the middle of the table. I could not help the smile which went from ear to ear. "This is great, mum."

  She smiled, "I know your Gran did a good one, let's see how mine compares eh?"

  It was just as good. After dinner we sat and they asked me what it was like in the Commandos. "I thought you would have come home after Dunkirk. Your father rang and said he had seen you."

  "I know, mum, but Captain Foster wanted me to join and… well… you know…"

  She laughed, "I do, you are just like your father! It is exactly what he would have done."

  "Is he still in London then? I haven't had a letter from him for a while."

  Her face darkened, "He is in the Middle East. Egypt I think or Crete, I can't be sure. All very secret. I thought we had finished with all of that after the Great War. Your father did his bit then."

  "But he is dad. That is the way he is."

  She shook her head and she and Mary began to clear the table. "War to end all wars! Politicians! If they had to fight then I am certain we would have no more wars." That was the signal to talk of other things. She told of Auntie Alice and her war work. Mary was just about to finish school and she was planning on going to University too. It was harder for a girl to get to University but my little sister was heavily influenced by Auntie Alice and she knew her own mind.

  Surprisingly enough I found it hard to adjust to the peace of the family home. The war seemed remote. Each night we listened to the radio and heard about the continuing raids in London and around the fighter bases and air fields. Once or twice the airfields nearby were bombed and we took shelter in the Anderson Shelter but the base was over five miles away. We seemed to be cocooned by trees and ripening crops. Flights of Hurricanes and Spitfires flew overhead each day but we were safe. I was grateful for my mother's sake. She had endured the Great War in London. She had had to suffer raids by Zeppelins and Gothas. It was not perfectly safe here but it was considerably safer than living in London or on an air base. On September the third we realised that we had been at war for a whole year; yet there was no cause for celebration. We were in the darkest of hours. Mr Churchill's speech about fighting on the beaches was even more apposite now. In my case it was a time for remembrance and all those I had lost in Belgium. They had slowed down the enemy advance. The Matildas had been sacrificed so that we could get an army back to England. Now we needed time. Our only allies were the Commonwealth. This was not the Great War; we were alone.

  When it was time to leave I could see the pain on mum's face. They had used their rations to make me a fruit cake. She had even used some whisky to soak the fruit. Dad would have called it a sacrilege. She had put it in an old biscuit tin. "This will keep for months. If you eke it out then you will have some left for Christmas." She hugged me, "Do you think you will be home for Christmas?" She shook her head and reprimanded herself, "Beattie Harsker, have you no sense?" She clasped me to her
tightly, "You take care of yourself and don't try to be the hero. I want you to survive this war. I want you and Mary and your dad to be safe. I want grandchildren. Remember that."

  I felt myself filling up. I nodded and hugged Mary. I whispered in her ear, "Watch out for mum eh?"

  She nodded and I saw tears in her eyes, "I am proud of you, our Tom. Be safe." I looked over my shoulder as I headed down the lane and they stood waving in the doorway.

  I walked to the station with leaden legs. You never missed what you never had. I had had a year without family. I had been home for a week and they filled both my head and my heart. I had to store them in a little room for I was going back to war.

  Harwich had been bombed as had Felixstowe. All of the streets were filled with rubble. It was but a week since I had walked them and now it was as though a giant had torn through the town. Even the meeting hall had suffered some damage. I met Daddy, he was coming out of a tobacconists. I saw a pipe in his hand. "What happened to the cigarettes?"

  "The wife reckoned I was smoking too much. I started coughing at night. I thought I'd try a pipe."

  "How is the family?"

  "Oh they are fine but they have had a few air raids too. I thought they would be safe up north but Jerry has taken this war everywhere. Her mam has come to live with us. Her dad died just a month ago. Heart attack. It's good for the wife. She has company now." He jammed the pipe in his battle dress and we headed towards our digs. "That's another reason I volunteered, the extra money comes in handy."

  I realised how lucky I was. I didn't need to worry about money. We weren't rich but dad was well paid and we had used some of the money Gran and Grandad had left him to buy the house. I knew now how fortunate I was. I tried to use my extra pay to help the lads out. It seemed fair somehow.

  Sean was not yet back. I did not expect him until the last minute. We did not have to report until seven the next morning and so we went to the pub for a pint. We met Sergeant Dean there. He had an angry expression on his face and he was drinking alone; that was always a bad sign. However when he saw us he brightened and came over. "Well lads, did you have a good leave?"